Kenmare ND - Kalynn Brazeal

Real People. Real Jobs. Real Adventures.


Do you even juice?

Posted 7/23/14 (Wed)

We were introduced to the idea of juicing by the documentary describing one man’s journey to reclaim his health and juicing was the first step.

Sitting and watching this man literally take back his life was impressionable.

So I did it. I caved. I ordered a juicer.

However since I’m a frugal kinda girl also, I waited until I found one on sale, on Amazon Prime.

I read the instructions front to back. I made lists of the recipes they recommended. I opened Pinterest and searched juice recipes and quickly became overwhelmed and closed it.

Like everything else I do, I go big or go home. I came home with bags of produce and fruits.

My kids promptly started asking to eat dinner at the neighbor’s house.

The machine itself was easy to put together, easy to use and a bugger to clean. The concept though of putting a handful of celery stalks straight into the juicer was appealing.

My inner warrior enjoyed the idea of pulverizing everything I could stuff inside the feeder.

Once full, you push the lid on and instantly, almost like magic, it starts pouring out the grossest green juice you have ever seen.

Once I added carrots, the color became a puicy brown. The taste however wasn’t bad.

I made a full glass for breakfast that day. I wasn’t hungry after but come lunch I fell upon a salad and some cookies. Dinner was much the same.

So I committed to doing the juice only in the morning and lunch then having a normal dinner.

My main goal was to feel better and reset my diet to better healthier choices. I would do five days and see how it went. No big deal. Right?

Full Day #1 Breakfast was a failed recipe. I choked it down and quickly tossed that recipe card.

Lunch was a little better but again, the recipe was pretty bad.Around three o’clock that afternoon I also noticed that I was unconsciously eating my kids’ after school snacks while cutting them up.

Oooops. Dinner was right on task, except I probably ate more than my husband and had to talk myself out of dessert.

Full Day #2 Breakfast was horrible. Cabbage and carrots with a dash of cinnamon do not a breakfast make.

It was then I decided to toss recipes all together. I would “wing” it and see what I could come up with.

I remade breakfast to contain cabbage, carrots, and pears. It was pretty good. Drank a 12 ounce glass and moved on.

Began noticing that I would daydream about food between juices. This was probably a foreshadowing that I shouldn’t have ignored.

Lunch was pretty much the same but I tossed in some beets. BAD IDEA on the beets. My advice, never add beets to your juice.

Dinner found us eating out with the family and again, I managed a man sized plate.

Full Day #3 Breakfast was apples, kale and pineapple. Yummy! I had my 12 ounces and went on with my day.

Started getting really hungry. around midmorning but I just moved up lunch. For lunch I managed some pears, apples, oranges, and carrots. Felt so much better.

Noon brought the realization that I would have to eat nothing for six hours until dinner time.

Called and asked Husband if dinner at 4 was too early. He said Yes. I tried to ignore the cravings.

I may or may not have eaten four bananas to hold me over.

Dinner that night was a big ole Southern feast. Full Day #4  Breakfast began like normal. Started my juicing but realized that I was down to kale, cabbage, lettuce, one apple and a lemon.

Gross. The color was as bad as the taste but I finished my 12 ounces.

I was spending lunch out running errands so I prepared my juice ahead of time and took it with me.

Three hours later, drinking hot room temperature green goo while my lunch date eats her burger and fries may have been the snapping point.

I managed to make it through lunch, barely. I was ready to lick the dessert menu though.

I got home and did inventory of fridge and realized, juicing is for the birds. Apparently I like my juice fruity so I’ll just buy more fruit juice and get on the elliptical instead.

Full Day #5 I had a pound cake for breakfast.

Don’t judge me.